Elmo Wants To Abuse Your Friends

I've been living with Elmo for several months now & have had to put up with his anger issues & physical abuse on a regular basis. I've reached a breaking point & decided that Elmo needs to release his anger in a more therapeutic way which is why I've set up this service.

Don't have the balls to tell your friends to go fuck themselves? Elmo is here to help. Simply enter your friends name & phone number in the form to the right & Elmo will call & leave them an abusive message. It's that simple & it's 100% free.

Let's get calling.

Elmo says to "fill in the goddamn form."

Elmo is done. Want Elmo back? Ask Mat nicely on Twitter. He'll probably say no. @matcarpenter

How to joke with friends when making sports betting

Sports betting can be a great way to add excitement and fun to your sports viewing experience. Whether you're making friendly wagers with friends or placing bets on professional sporting events, the thrill of competition is hard to beat. But it doesn't have to be all serious business regarding sports betting. Joking around and having a little fun with your friends while you place bets can make the whole experience more enjoyable for everyone involved. One way you can joke around with your friends while making sports bets is by coming up with some funny nicknames for each other's teams or players. For example, if one of your buddies always picks the same team every week, come up with a handle like "The Losers" or "The Chokers" that they have to live up (or down) too! You could also make jokes about how bad their team has been performing lately or what kind of odds they got on their bet this time around. Another idea is to create silly props related to each game based on random events during playtime – things like who will get the first penalty flag thrown in their direction, who will score the most points in a quarter, etcetera. This adds an extra layer of entertainment and gives everyone something else attractive (and potentially profitable!) Bet on during games without taking away from traditional wagering options too much. Finally, don't forget about suitable old-fashioned trash-talking between friends! If someone loses a bet, let them know how badly they were beaten - but keep it lighthearted and never take things too seriously! After all, it's all just meant for fun, so don't ruin anyone's mood by getting overly competitive over small-stakes bets between pals!

Keeping it fun: Making jokes without taking sports betting too seriously.

Best sports betting can be a fun and exciting way to enjoy the game of your favorite sport, but it's important to remember that it should always be taken seriously. While making sports betting bets with friends is an enjoyable activity, you don't want to take things too far by cracking jokes at their expense. So how do you ensure everyone has a good time without going overboard? Here are some tips on how to joke around while still keeping sports betting severely:

1. Know Your Audience - It's essential to know who you're dealing with when making jokes about sports betting. If your friends are more serious bettors than jokers, keep the banter lighthearted and avoid any inside jokes or sarcasm. On the other hand, if they have a more relaxed attitude towards gambling, feel free to go all out with witty one-liners or funny anecdotes!

2. Keep it Clean - As much as possible, try not to bring up topics like money or luck when joking around about sports betting. These subjects can be touchy for some people, so focus instead on humorous stories from past experiences or clever observations about players and teams in the league.

3. Don't Get Too Personal - Joking around with your buddies should never come at someone else's expense; save those zingers for another day! Be aware of each person's tastes and preferences when coming up with material so no one feels singled out or uncomfortable during the conversation (especially since this could lead them away from wanting to participate in future wagers).

4. Have Fun With It – Above all else, just have fun! Sports betting is supposed to be entertaining, so don't take yourself too seriously while cracking jokes amongst friends; otherwise, what's the point? Remember that laughter is contagious, so if you put effort into being creative yet respectful with humor, everyone will appreciate it (and possibly even join in!).

Timing is critical: How to find the right moment to joke without ruining the betting experience for your friends.

When it comes to sports betting, timing is critical. You may have the best joke in the world, but if you don't deliver it at just the right moment, you could ruin your friends' betting experience. That said, some general tips can help ensure your jokes land perfectly with your pals when placing a wager. First of all, consider who is around when making bets with friends. If they aren't as into sports or betting as you are, avoid being too technical and stick to more lighthearted humor instead. This will keep them engaged without explaining why specific teams or players might be better than others for a particular bet. Second, think about what type of bet each person has placed before deciding on a joke or comment to make during the process. For instance, if someone has made an underdog pick, then teasingly asking them why they chose such an unlikely outcome could work well - especially if their selection wins!

On the other hand, though, poking fun at someone's favorite team after they've chosen them in a parlay probably isn't going to get much of a laugh out of anyone involved, so try not to do this too often, either! Finally, remember that everyone enjoys different types of humor so tailor any jokes based on who's present when placing bets with friends and how seriously they take their selections. This way, everyone can still enjoy themselves while getting excited about potential winnings!

Setting boundaries: How to avoid crossing the line and making inappropriate jokes while sports betting with your friends.

Making sports bets with your friends can be a great way to have fun and enjoy some friendly competition. But it's important to remember that there is a line between having fun and making inappropriate jokes or crossing boundaries. Here are some tips for how to joke with friends when making sports bets:

1. Stick to lighthearted topics - When joking around with your friends while betting on sports, try not to venture into potentially offensive issues like religion or politics. Instead, focus on lighter topics like favorite teams or players, funny stories about past games, etc. This will help ensure that everyone stays comfortable and the conversation doesn't become too heated or awkward.

2. Respect each other's opinions - It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of the game and start trash-talking each other's picks or opinions but try not to take things too far. Everyone has their own opinion about who they think will win, so respect those differences of opinion instead of trying to push your views onto others.

3 Make sure everyone knows you're joking - If you do decide to make a joke at someone else's expense during the bet, make sure they know you're just kidding around and don't mean any harm by it! A good rule of thumb is if someone looks uncomfortable, apologize immediately before things escalate further than intended!

4 Avoid vulgar language - Vulgar language should always be avoided when betting with friends as it can easily offend people even if you didn't intend for it too! Keep conversations PG-13 rated so everyone feels comfortable participating without feeling embarrassed or offended by what was said!

Uhh... why?

Dominance Display

It's important to regularly remind your friends that you don't really like them. This is the perfect way.

Elmo's Health

Every person needs a way to relieve stress. Some meditate, Elmo likes to insult people.

It's Free

Elmo doesn't take a salary. He's going to call your friends up & abuse them for free. Problem?

It's Fun

The definition of fun for Elmo is screaming curse words into a phone at unusual hours.

For Me

There is only so much a human body can take. Please don't leave me here anymore.

Why Not

You're already here, you may as well enter your friends information.

What will Elmo say?

Very bad things.

If your friend is one of the lucky few & Elmo sticks to the script they should get off with just a verbal spanking.

That said... I have no idea.

Elmo is... a bit of a loose cannon. No-one really knows what's going to come out of his mouth. I've told him that he's not allowed to go overboard with the insults however I can't be sure whether or not he'll stop there. I can't control him so if he does go overboard I have to note that I'm not responsible for your friends physical or mental health after receiving the message.

How does it work?

Enter Details

Enter your friends information into the form at the top of the page.

Don't Pay

I've tried to convince Elmo to pay rent but he insists he doesn't want money.

Elmo Calls

I'll release the monster & let him verbally destroy your friend.

Friend Destroyed

Laugh at your friend who just got a verbal smackdown by a little red fuck.