Elmo Wants To Abuse Your Friends

I've been living with Elmo for several months now & have had to put up with his anger issues & physical abuse on a regular basis. I've reached a breaking point & decided that Elmo needs to release his anger in a more therapeutic way which is why I've set up this service.

Don't have the balls to tell your friends to go fuck themselves? Elmo is here to help. Simply enter your friends name & phone number in the form to the right & Elmo will call & leave them an abusive message. It's that simple & it's 100% free.

Let's get calling.

Elmo says to "fill in the goddamn form."

Elmo is done. Want Elmo back? Ask Mat nicely on Twitter. He'll probably say no. @matcarpenter

Uhh... why?

Dominance Display

It's important to regularly remind your friends that you don't really like them. This is the perfect way.

Elmo's Health

Every person needs a way to relieve stress. Some meditate, Elmo likes to insult people.

It's Free

Elmo doesn't take a salary. He's going to call your friends up & abuse them for free. Problem?

It's Fun

The definition of fun for Elmo is screaming curse words into a phone at unusual hours.

For Me

There is only so much a human body can take. Please don't leave me here anymore.

Why Not

You're already here, you may as well enter your friends information.

What will Elmo say?

Very bad things.

If your friend is one of the lucky few & Elmo sticks to the script they should get off with just a verbal spanking.

That said... I have no idea.

Elmo is... a bit of a loose cannon. No-one really knows what's going to come out of his mouth. I've told him that he's not allowed to go overboard with the insults however I can't be sure whether or not he'll stop there. I can't control him so if he does go overboard I have to note that I'm not responsible for your friends physical or mental health after receiving the message.

How does it work?

Enter Details

Enter your friends information into the form at the top of the page.

Don't Pay

I've tried to convince Elmo to pay rent but he insists he doesn't want money.

Elmo Calls

I'll release the monster & let him verbally destroy your friend.

Friend Destroyed

Laugh at your friend who just got a verbal smackdown by a little red fuck.